I was asked today if I included in this chronicle of my journey the fact that I also quit smoking... I thought about including it in my last post, but had decided against it. Ultimately, I don't want this to be condemning to anyone for their choices. I want this blog to be about happiness, health, good recipes, food information, and about my journey. But, I will say a couple things about it, since this is about my journey to health, and that was and continues to be a big part of it.
I quit smoking in January of 2012. Probably about the middle of January. I had been a smoker for 15 years, and had quit many, many times. Instead of saying, I quit smoking but then gave up, I got to where I'd say, I just stopped for a while. It was easier than considering myself a failure, and I figured every time I "stopped," for however long it turned out to be, it was still better than smoking during that time.
People often ask me how I quit smoking one month and began losing weight the next month. The answer is, I don't know. My doctor was amazed that I was able to pull that off. Most people quit smoking and gain weight, for many reasons - giving yourself some satisfaction or pleasure ranks very high on that list, I think. For me, smoking made me "feel better." At least in my head. It was my five minutes of peace. My "me" time. The only thing I can say about how I did it is, I think I was just ready. And, that's very important. As a former smoker, I can tell you that NOTHING anyone says makes any difference to you. Cancer won't happen to you. Or, ok ok ok, I "will" quit smoking. "Soon." I think each and every smoker has to get to a point where they are ready. And, get to a point where they are prepared to be a crazy person and have arguments with theirselves in their head. The old picture of a devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel on the other arguing back and forth... that will be your life when you decide to quit. At least for a little while. It also helped me to make a little book about the reasons I wanted to quit smoking, because there came a morning where I couldn't remember why I was trying to quit. But, something inside me kept pushing me, and I did finally get it accomplished. I really think that this time I won't go back to it. I believe I'm done for good. You get to where it's really like a 12 step program or something.. you say, I admit I have a problem and every day that I'm a non-smoker is a good day. And, after a while it gets easier. It really, really does.
Due to my research, and watching my dad suffer and try to recover from this stroke, I now realize, what smoking does to your body. I see and feel the damage every day. While exercise is helping, I don't have the lung capacity I once had. And, my skin is that of someone much older. I see the smokers pucker and the wrinkles, and I try to hide it every morning. They say my dad's brain is just full of atherosclerosis, which caused his stroke and is caused in a large part by smoking. I was headed that direction... I can only hope that I went on this journey in enough time to save myself from that and begin to reverse damage already caused. Because, trust me, there comes a point when you can't reverse it anymore. The damage is already done. Just ask my dad.
I said all that to say this, though. It can be done.
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