Well, I created this blog and made several posts in one day, and then promptly stopped blogging. I don't know why. I guess because I'm busy like everyone else. But, I have a lot on my mind today, so I thought I'd sit down and "write" for a bit. It's therapeutic, LOL!
My first thought when I sat down to do this was, I need to make a new blog - what I want to write about doesn't really apply to this blog. This blog is about our journey to becoming healthy individuals. But, I've since rethought that. What I have to say today is really in regards to my Dad and his health issues, and understanding what his illness means. I think, however, that it applies to this blog in that my dad's situation is a reminder of why I need to be healthy and an examination of my mental health, to be honest.
I started out several months ago on a journey to improve my health. I lost over 40 lbs and was doing very well, but I've done what a lot of people often do - at least to a certain degree. I got comfortable with where I was and decided to back off a bit. I've gained back about 9 lbs at this point. I am still eating fairly healthy, though. Yes, on our recent holiday road trip, I ate at Lambert's (home of the Throwed Rolls) twice, ate out at various other restaurants, and had a fabulously unhealthy Thanksgiving dinner. So, in this last week alone, I've gained about 4 of those lbs. But, I digress. I'm concerned about the weight gain, but not as concerned as I am about not working out as much and starting to eat a little less healthy. I only have to think about what got my dad to where he is, to help me get back on track, I think.
In regards to my mental health, since dad his stroke and became ill, I've really struggled with how to feel about it and what to share with others. I've felt like I was betraying my dad by telling people details that he wouldn't want them to know. It's been a struggle because I've felt like I needed to share with family and friends who want to know what's going on and who want to be there for my family and I - and I so appreciate that!! I think I have a hard time saying, there's things you don't need to know, or just keeping my mouth shut and not saying anything at all. Besides, I've found that I get some kind of therapy myself from talking about it. It's hard for me to hold things in sometimes. I've learned a lot about myself during all this, I think, and I don't necessarily like everything I've learned.
When dad first had his stroke and got his diagnosis, I read everything about it and sort of became obsessed with it. I think I took it as a death sentence and began this self-protection thing where I tried to prepare myself for his impending death. I'm so scared to deal with anything death related because I've not had to deal with that much in my life and I think that I won't be able to handle it. I have felt like I need to start dealing with it now so that I don't completely fall apart when it does happen. And, I think my defense mechanism, "the planner," took over to keep my mind busy and try to plan it all out. If I plan it, I can deal with it. Right? I'll learn everything there is to know about this disease, know what to expect, and when to expect it. I'll pick out funeral songs. That way I'm ready and I can do it. But, I've heard some feedback that I thrive on drama and that I am making more out of this than I need to. Oh, and that I've just put all this information out there that people don't need to know. Well, these are my family and friends, my support group. This has been hard for me and I've needed them. In our family, we share. Or at least I thought we did. But, I digress... again. My point is, I don't think I handled it very well, but I'm thankful to those who walked through it with me and let me vent and worry... in my way. I'm ok and I will be ok, no matter how easy or hard this turns out to be. My journey to health includes healthiness of mind, body, and spirit. I'm still working on all three, so please be patient. :-)
My dad is doing very well right now, considering. It's been over 6 months since the stroke and he is stable. We hope that medications and therapy will keep him stable for some time to come. How long do we have with him? There's no real way to know, but that's ok. None of us know how long we have. We'll enjoy every day, and hope there are lots and lots of them. My mother has and continues to take very good care of him and he has great doctors! Who knows - what seemed like a death sentence before, actually may not be. We may still have quite a few years and I sure hope that we do! He's doing very well and I'm so very proud of him for fighting and working hard to recover. I'm going to quit trying to figure it all out and just relax.
Healthiness of my body, and everyone else's, is my next subject. Yes, I'm going to preach to myself and everyone else today. I understand this is my journey to health and that any journey to health is personal for everyone. I also understand that I can't make someone be healthy or stop making unhealthy choices. But, by reminding myself why I need to make healthy choices, I hope that I am able to influence those reading my blog to do the same.
When I started my journey to becoming healthier, I was a smoker. I smoked for about 15 years, I think. I was overweight and never exercised, as well, and had a lot of inflammatory issues. I had high blood pressure, to boot. I was on a really bad road, following in my dad's footsteps. I am no longer a smoker, I am less overweight, I exercise a lot, and no longer have high blood pressure. My sugar and cholesterol levels are great, as well. I am doing this because I don't want to have a small vessel disease and have a stroke. Because I know that smoking and all these other risk factors greatly increase my risk of becoming my dad. When we damage those small blood vessels in our brain, or anywhere in our body, that damage is many times irreparable. You start a cycle that can't be fixed. You cause a buildup of cholesterol or plaque or create blockages all over your body. You cause inflammation throughout your body, which is the root of all major chronic disease. You damage your body's immune system and ability to fight off disease and cancers, as well. You are giving yourself a life that you don't want to have. I thought I was young and had plenty of time, but it snuck up on me, and I realize now all the damage I caused by my bad choices, and I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and change those choices now. While my health has definitely improved and my lab results all look good, I find myself now forgetting things a lot. I make hotel reservations for the wrong date. I can't seem to remember to empty the old coffee out of the coffee pot when I make a new pot... all the time! I can't think of the words I want to use ... a lot. I'm worried that by having myself in the condition I was in a few months ago, I've already begun cycle and I can only hope that I can reverse a lot of it by changing my lifestyle and choices. So, I continue on, which leads to healthiness of spirit - obviously, I'm still working on that, LOL!
I'm reminded of a sign I saw on facebook - Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you. LOL... Get off your ass and do something about your health. Start your own journey. And, I will continue mine.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Teaching Our Children About Being Healthy
Ok, Ok, I promise to quit posting today. I just really thought this story was so fabulous that I had to share... And, there's a great moral to the story.. think about the messages we're portraying to our children when we worry about our bodies... Again, let's focus on "being healthy" and teach our children what that means...
http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2012/01/mom-im-fat-one-mothers-inspired-response-to-her-7-year-old/
http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2012/01/mom-im-fat-one-mothers-inspired-response-to-her-7-year-old/
.PNG)
Another Part of the Story
I was asked today if I included in this chronicle of my journey the fact that I also quit smoking... I thought about including it in my last post, but had decided against it. Ultimately, I don't want this to be condemning to anyone for their choices. I want this blog to be about happiness, health, good recipes, food information, and about my journey. But, I will say a couple things about it, since this is about my journey to health, and that was and continues to be a big part of it.
I quit smoking in January of 2012. Probably about the middle of January. I had been a smoker for 15 years, and had quit many, many times. Instead of saying, I quit smoking but then gave up, I got to where I'd say, I just stopped for a while. It was easier than considering myself a failure, and I figured every time I "stopped," for however long it turned out to be, it was still better than smoking during that time.
People often ask me how I quit smoking one month and began losing weight the next month. The answer is, I don't know. My doctor was amazed that I was able to pull that off. Most people quit smoking and gain weight, for many reasons - giving yourself some satisfaction or pleasure ranks very high on that list, I think. For me, smoking made me "feel better." At least in my head. It was my five minutes of peace. My "me" time. The only thing I can say about how I did it is, I think I was just ready. And, that's very important. As a former smoker, I can tell you that NOTHING anyone says makes any difference to you. Cancer won't happen to you. Or, ok ok ok, I "will" quit smoking. "Soon." I think each and every smoker has to get to a point where they are ready. And, get to a point where they are prepared to be a crazy person and have arguments with theirselves in their head. The old picture of a devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel on the other arguing back and forth... that will be your life when you decide to quit. At least for a little while. It also helped me to make a little book about the reasons I wanted to quit smoking, because there came a morning where I couldn't remember why I was trying to quit. But, something inside me kept pushing me, and I did finally get it accomplished. I really think that this time I won't go back to it. I believe I'm done for good. You get to where it's really like a 12 step program or something.. you say, I admit I have a problem and every day that I'm a non-smoker is a good day. And, after a while it gets easier. It really, really does.
Due to my research, and watching my dad suffer and try to recover from this stroke, I now realize, what smoking does to your body. I see and feel the damage every day. While exercise is helping, I don't have the lung capacity I once had. And, my skin is that of someone much older. I see the smokers pucker and the wrinkles, and I try to hide it every morning. They say my dad's brain is just full of atherosclerosis, which caused his stroke and is caused in a large part by smoking. I was headed that direction... I can only hope that I went on this journey in enough time to save myself from that and begin to reverse damage already caused. Because, trust me, there comes a point when you can't reverse it anymore. The damage is already done. Just ask my dad.
I said all that to say this, though. It can be done.
I quit smoking in January of 2012. Probably about the middle of January. I had been a smoker for 15 years, and had quit many, many times. Instead of saying, I quit smoking but then gave up, I got to where I'd say, I just stopped for a while. It was easier than considering myself a failure, and I figured every time I "stopped," for however long it turned out to be, it was still better than smoking during that time.
People often ask me how I quit smoking one month and began losing weight the next month. The answer is, I don't know. My doctor was amazed that I was able to pull that off. Most people quit smoking and gain weight, for many reasons - giving yourself some satisfaction or pleasure ranks very high on that list, I think. For me, smoking made me "feel better." At least in my head. It was my five minutes of peace. My "me" time. The only thing I can say about how I did it is, I think I was just ready. And, that's very important. As a former smoker, I can tell you that NOTHING anyone says makes any difference to you. Cancer won't happen to you. Or, ok ok ok, I "will" quit smoking. "Soon." I think each and every smoker has to get to a point where they are ready. And, get to a point where they are prepared to be a crazy person and have arguments with theirselves in their head. The old picture of a devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel on the other arguing back and forth... that will be your life when you decide to quit. At least for a little while. It also helped me to make a little book about the reasons I wanted to quit smoking, because there came a morning where I couldn't remember why I was trying to quit. But, something inside me kept pushing me, and I did finally get it accomplished. I really think that this time I won't go back to it. I believe I'm done for good. You get to where it's really like a 12 step program or something.. you say, I admit I have a problem and every day that I'm a non-smoker is a good day. And, after a while it gets easier. It really, really does.
Due to my research, and watching my dad suffer and try to recover from this stroke, I now realize, what smoking does to your body. I see and feel the damage every day. While exercise is helping, I don't have the lung capacity I once had. And, my skin is that of someone much older. I see the smokers pucker and the wrinkles, and I try to hide it every morning. They say my dad's brain is just full of atherosclerosis, which caused his stroke and is caused in a large part by smoking. I was headed that direction... I can only hope that I went on this journey in enough time to save myself from that and begin to reverse damage already caused. Because, trust me, there comes a point when you can't reverse it anymore. The damage is already done. Just ask my dad.
I said all that to say this, though. It can be done.
New Blog
Hello. I am starting a new blog about my husband and I's journey this year to becoming healthy. We started in February of 2012. I was at least 50 lbs and my husband was at least 100 lbs over weight. We both had multiple health conditions, as a resort of our unhealthiness. But, let me be clear. Our unhealthiness was not just because we were over weight. Healthiness isn't about whether one is "fat" or "skinny." The skinniest of people can drop dead of a heart attack, too. Or have Alzheimers. Yes, we needed to lose weight. Very much so. But, more importantly - we needed to become healthy. Our first focus was primarily on losing weight - especially since we didn't know about what getting healthy truly meant until we had been on this journey for a while. We have learned so much about healthiness and what it means for our family. We have a whole new outlook on food. We still enjoy food. We love to cook and come up with new recipes. I've created an account on Pinterest and am happy to report that I am now a recipe poster, not just a recipe stealer! LOL!
We have a total of seven children - most of which are grown. We have two children still at home - age 6 and almost 8. Abby will be 8 in November, is in 2nd grade, is VERY smart, and is helping me write this blog today. She very much wants me to just say that she is 8, not almost 8. LOL! Jack is 6 and just started Kindergarten this year. He is a wild man! Abby has learned to read nutrition information on packages when we go shopping. Together, we make good food choices. Someone once told me that she was an eating disorder waiting to happen, because she reads the labels on the boxes. I disagree. I'm just teaching her about healthiness. And, that's ok. Hopefully, they will grow up and make good educated food choices.
We have a total of seven children - most of which are grown. We have two children still at home - age 6 and almost 8. Abby will be 8 in November, is in 2nd grade, is VERY smart, and is helping me write this blog today. She very much wants me to just say that she is 8, not almost 8. LOL! Jack is 6 and just started Kindergarten this year. He is a wild man! Abby has learned to read nutrition information on packages when we go shopping. Together, we make good food choices. Someone once told me that she was an eating disorder waiting to happen, because she reads the labels on the boxes. I disagree. I'm just teaching her about healthiness. And, that's ok. Hopefully, they will grow up and make good educated food choices.
I plan to use this blog to share information that I learn about food and healthiness. For example, today's blog is about pumpkin. Yes, fall is almost here - and as I keep saying - pumpkin flavored everything is coming! This is a good thing, though - as pumpkin is so incredibly good for you. See the graphic below about some of the good things about pumpkin and go enjoy something pumpkin! Get excited about changing your health this fall!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)